Regret is one of life’s big time wasters. We can spend endless time on thinking about what we should have done differently. When we look back and wonder how our lives would have been different we have to ask ourselves if that’s really what we want to focus on. When you think ” I should have been a better mother when my kids were young, I should have been a better wife, I shouldn’t have wasted so much time on things that didn’t matter or being angry or indecision or I wish I had not gotten sick. . Whatever it is that you think about you should keep in mind that you are who you are today because of these occurrences.  Not to mention it is very unhealthy for your soul to should on yourself.

Instead focus on the present and what decisions you make today. We can only hope to make the right choices in life, there is no guarantee but there are techniques that can help like Zero Based Thinking. Its about making a decision based on the information you have right now. Because really thats all you and I really have. Past experience and knowledge the rest is just speculation.

So now its Monday and time to start the day.

Until next time.

• Frequent temper tantrums
• Excessive arguing with adults
• Often questioning rules
• Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
• Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
• Blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
• Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
• Frequent anger and resentment
• Mean and hateful talking when upset
• Spiteful attitude and revenge seeking

Why is no one talking about this. It is known for wreaking havoc in families, sibling relationships and between parent and child. We kept reading trying to find the cause. My partner had been through a divorce 2 years earlier but is was amicable. They are friends. Our relationship has always been one of friendship, respect and caring. So why was this happening?

I have to say I don´t understand why we teach everything but how to be good parents in school. Being a good parent, knowing how to deal with lifes challenges is essential. Why is society failing in this respect.

I think this needs to be the next revoulution. We need to stand up for ourselves, our children and our families. Are you with me?

Please comment if you agree or even if you don´t agree. I want to hear your opinion. Lets do something, anything to change the future for our kids.

Drifa Ulfarsdottir CPC

Sometimes even the lousiest day can look beautiful if you only just open your eyes

In order to cut costs large corporations are encouraging their top employees to work from home. Their employees are happier creating less turnover in the company. Employees are naturally motivated when they feel that they are trusted and valued for their specific skills.  Providing you are a conscientious worker which 90% of us are and that you are evaluated on performance and deliverable s rather than how much time you spend at your desk typing away whether you are really producing or not it can be very benificial indeed.

Just imagine an office full of unhappy workers that show up each morning ready to take on another 8 hour day at their computers unmotivated because it is not in their nature to be up early or to sit in the same place all day or feel caged in or to be stuck at the office and spend most of their time trying to concentrate or focus when they actually spend a lot of time day dreaming or on social media pretending to be somewhere else.

Now picture a worker who is excited to complete a project because it is done on their terms,  in their PJ´s if they so prefer or in their home, at their favorite coffie house or better yet in their place of choice.

When deliverable´s and accomplishments are what you are judged on you can shine. A lot of us are more productive at odd hours or in short spurts. Working the status quo way is not for every one and so it is more conducive to allow workers to work in the way they are most productive.

My Stepmother has been telecommuting for years. It has enabled her to keep up with my now retired father even when he is in their vacation home in Mexico. It has allowed her to keep pace with an incredibly challenging job while allowing her to have a family life. Her company realized the value of allowing her the freedom to shine. She rose to the top aquiring the title of VP while telecommuting but on her terms.

We have all dreamt of it and wished it could become a reality but imagine it from your companies perspective. Providing you do your job well, with quality and consistancy what is the problem with allowing some flexibility.

Now if employees are allowed to work on their terms and they feel happier there will naturally be less turnaround. The company is forced to spend less time on meaningless meetings and more time maximizing the time they have together. The product of that will be more productivity. It is time for companies to spend more time on high value tasks that produce real results.

I was reading an article about law firms the other day and it said that the cost of turn-around for employees is more than one years salery. That includes advertising the position, hiring for the position, training of a new employee and lost productivity during the adjustment phase.

That is a lot of money.

That tells me that keeping  staff happy will save money in the long run. When you allow your staff to shine, allow them to work in fields that they are good at ( not ones that you need help in) and trust in ther abilities, showing faith in them, believe in them and trust them you will benifit your company will see returns.

I challenge all companes to start thinking about profits as how they can get the most out of what they have by utilizing their staff in the best way possible.

The mantra for corparations should be;

I will trust in my employees to do their best. I will take their accomplishments and deliverable´s as a testament to their commitment and standing in their position. I will empower them to be creative and encourage them to work when they are at their most productive. I will trust that when I allow my employees to shine my company benefits.  I will support my staff because I believe my staff are the cornerstone to my company. I believe that by allowing my team to work at their full capacity they will outperform all others.

Please comment if you have an opinion. If you do not have an opinion, stop , think and make an opinion and comment because your opinion matters.

Some mothers stay home during the first years others do not. There is a lot of guilt on both sides because the grass is always greener on the other side.

I was one of those mothers that stayed home with my kids when they were young. My husband worked allowing me to do so. I apprieciate that.

I enjoyed being with them and tried to create a world for them that had stability, love and support. I baked cookies at just the right time so that they would be perfectly warm when the kids came home from school. I made them special snacks, made the neighborhood kids feel welcome and always tried to be available for them. I believed that if I stayed home during their formative years they would have a better chance at life.

The funny thing is that research shows that it is not about whether you stay home or not but rather what kind of home you have that affects them as they grow up.

A stable home with happy relaxed and confident parents matters more. A happy parent that is always there for their kids when they are home is better than a parent that is always there but is stressed, absent minded and not present.

So why do mothers feel guilty either way? We need to learn to take care of ourselves in order to take care of our children.

Many years ago I was an esthetician and after many years of talking to clients I began to notice a pattern with woman. The woman that came regulary to the salon and took care of themselves through grooming, exercise, following their dreams  and by nurturing their souls were always much more balanced, guilt free and content than those who spent all their time doing selfless things for others while neglecting themselves.

Mothers that focus on their kids often loose who they are and live vicariously through their children hampering normal development which is detrimental for their kids.

Being true to yourself shows in the way you feel. When you feel great it trickles down to your family. The kids feel good knowing you feel good. You feel good and are able to do more for your kids. It is a cirlce.

The lesson to be learned is don´t loose woho you are, follow your dreams and enjoy your children. You will be happier, your family will be happier and life will be better.

I am looking forward to some quality time with him because he is almost 17 and our time together is limited by homework, school, work and activities with his friends. I know that it is only a matter of time before he goes off to University and I wont have to chance to see him more than a visit during summer or a Skype call

. I can deal with that but I hope that I can get the most of the time together that we have before he leaves. These days getting the chance to drive him to school is quality time. When children are little we can control what they do and where they are. it can be really difficult to let go of that but as they grow older that is exactly what we must do.

Tonight I am going to enjoy my son because he matters to me. I am going to be in the moment watching whatever he picks. I believe in him, I trust him and I know that he is someone I am immensely proud of.